Criticizing and berating ourselves as a means to change never works. There is an enormous gap between self-blame, self-criticism, self-judgment, shame, and taking personal responsibility.
We’re often walking a tightrope between taking responsibility for our choices, decisions, and actions and falling off into the Grand Canyon of self-pity.
So when you are attempting something new or trying to solve a problem, try coming at it from a place of curiosity.
Some questions you can ask yourself are:
“I wonder what would happen if I…?”
“How do I feel when I think…?”
“How would I respond to this situation if I already knew what outcome I wanted?”
“Do I know anyone who has already been through this and handled it admirably?”
Don’t bother yourself with the advice of others that comes from a place of fear, scarcity, or worse of all-their own bad experience.
This would be like hearing about a restaurant that has horrible service, multiple cases of food poisoning and health violations…only to feel the need to try it out for yourself.
Try restaurants that have fabulous reviews. Visit places that inspire people to open their minds. Find mentors and community members whose lives you wish to emulate. Listen to people who are a force for positive change.
There is no much hurt, loneliness, and alienation in the world right now.
We all play a role in finding healing, acceptance, and love in challenging times.
When we do the work to quiet the inner critic, that feeling of acceptance can ripple outward to those around us.