My life isn’t Instagram or Facebook perfect.
No one’s is, despite how it often seems online.
Perfectionism is a hard habit to break, and one I still struggle with today. After we lose a parent, we sometimes feel this need to prove ourselves and receive external validation.
A lot of times this comes from the loss of hearing and feeling that someone you trust with your deepest inner being is no longer there to say that they are proud of you.
So we start looking for that validation in other places and relationships, trying desperately to fill that void. But ultimately, it’s something that we must create from within in order to regain our footing and release that desperate hold we have on life.
What I search for now is the perfection in a moment.
When you catch the sunset at it’s most brilliant when colors are exploding across the sky. When you hear your child’s uninhibited laughter.
When you are walking under tall, fragrant pines and sound is muffled by the quiet of the forest. When the most vivid rainbow appears after a storm.
When you lie in the sand on a beach and listen to the waves crashing into the shore in a pattern that is as familiar as being in the womb.
When you look at the stars while surrounded in utter darkness, but still feel connected to the universe and everything in it.
You hold a place in this world that no one else has ever held, nor ever will.
In order to live a truly full life, we have to accept the contrast of good and bad.
Without devastation, there’s not creation. Without heartbreak, there’s not love. Without fear, there’s not courage. Without pain, there’s not pleasure. Without failure, there’s not success.
Nothing that ever happens to you can change who you are underneath it all. Who are you really? Who do you want to become?
Since there are no guarantees in life and the present moment is the only one we can truly live, what do you want to create with it?